The Bachelor Chris Episode Three Recap – Jillian’s Censor Bar

Seconds into the episode we hear a rooster crow… I think about inappropriate jokes… And we are into week three of this AMAZING JOURNEY.

Jimmy Kimmel’s dramatic entrance that was teased at the end of last week’s episode is revisited and we get to see him waking a sleeping Farmer Chris.


As a sidenote, I think this Jimmy Kimmel tie-in is weird. I get that ABC is leveraging both their shows to help boost ratings – but it felt more than a little forced most of the time.

Anyways… Chris’s half-asleep “What the f*ck?” was quite endearing and still a sweeter response than what I would have delivered to a unexpected man in my bedroom at dawn. We also learn that FC doesn’t sleep naked – just boxers – so simmer down, ladies.

Chris Harrison greets the ladies at the mansion. He tells them they’ll be spending time with another man this week. They guess… A dog? A Pig? Considering Jimmy Kimmel’s behavior this week, those guesses weren’t actually that far off.


Jimmy walks in and they promptly freak the eff out – per usual. He tells them that he plans to make love to each one of them to help understand who is best for FC. Uncomfortable laughter ensues.

He then let’s the girls know that since the word ‘AMAZING’ is grossly overused on this show, he is introducing the Amazing Jar. Every time someone says the word, they have to pay a dollar into the jar. Jimmy said with all they raise they’ll probably be able to buy the mansion and all live in it together.

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He hands out DATE CARD #1 (read by Juelia): Kaitlyn

Something to the effect of: “You’re invited into an exclusive club with hor d’oeuvres, high ceilings and sweeping views.”

Immediately I thought of a private plane and the mile-high club.

And I COULDN’T have been more wrong. The limo pulls up to Costco and poor Kaitlyn says, “Oh, we’re really getting out here…”

Let it be known that YJ and I LIVE for Costco dates and have so much fun there. But… We aren’t on national TV and we’ve been together for two years. And we’re easily amused. And we live in the ‘burbs. You get the point…

FC an Kaitlyn are instructed to buy stuff for a dinner party… for three, because Jimmy has invited himself over. They also have a “Scavenger hunt” list of other random items that Jimmy has requested… including enough ketchup to fill a hot tub. Kudos to these two for having a good time with the date.

Chris reflected that this is the kind of thing real couples do together, immediately followed with the two of them rolling around in what can only be described as an inflatable hamster wheel. And making out in that plastic ball of potential suffocation. I agree, totes normal…

They load up the limo with ALLLL their purchases and unload ALLLL those purchases back at FC’s house. I was amused that they did all the heavy lifting themselves, and didn’t let an ABC intern get after it. I guess any kind of hard labor is a little taste of the farm life to come.

FC and Kaitlyn busy themselves around the house getting ready for dinner. It was refreshing to see a relatively low key, normal date this early in the game. She was a perfect choice and handled the whole day with a great attitude.

They relaxed outside, sipping bourbon and making out, when Jimmy rolled up on them. Both FC and Kaitlyn were guiltily smeared with red lipstick. Wouldn’t you wear tinted chapstick or a nude gloss if you knew that your mouth was probably going to be all over somebody else’s mouth?

Could have been awkward or embarrassing, but all three handled it with grace… surprisingly.

Kaitlyn told Jimmy that the date was fun, and then laughingly said he was a dick. Which is true. And he agreed.

The boys grill together (as men naturally gravitate toward) and there’s a fun, sarcastic banter between the three of them.

Jimmy sits between Kaitlyn and FC at dinner, as only a good third wheel does.


Jimmy asks Kaityn if she’d be mad if Chris picks her in the end, and three months later they are watching the show together and she sees that he banged all three girls in the fantasy suite. She says, “No. I wouldn’t be mad. You don’t buy a car without test driving it first.”

She totally gets ‘cool girl’ points with that response from the guys. I’m not sure if I buy it. I’d imagine if things with Chris get more serious, she’ll dig her claws in and let her crazy show. But time will tell… for now, she is saying and doing all the right things.

Kaitlyn ultimately gets the date rose and they proceed to take a dip in Chris’s hot tub. Of course, more kissing ensues and as the camera pans out we see Jimmy in the tub too… eating chicken wings. It felt forced and unnecessary.


We cut back to the mansion where Jillian is intensely working out, TRX bands and all.

Sweet Kelsey says: “How do you compete with that? Do push ups in child size shorts!”

It’s time for DATE CARD #2 (read by Becca): Britt, Jillian, Becca, Tracy, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Amber, Ashley S., Juelia, Samantha, Nikki and Carly

“Are you ready to meet some real party animals?”

The girls arrive at the “Hoe Down Throw Down” – which could have just as easily been a mud wrestling match between these classy broads. Sadly, however, it’s a country themed obstacle course where the girls need to:

  • Shuck corn
  • Crack an egg into a frying pan without breaking the yolk
  • Milk a goat (and drink hot, unpasteurized goat milk)
  • Shovel manure
  • Wrestle a greased pig into a pen


Here are the quotes that matter since this date was dumb (this isn’t Big Brother, y’all)…

FC: “Drinking goat milk out of the teet isn’t important to me but I’d like it if she could shuck some corn.”

Mackenzie: “Oh, Jillian’s shots?” <mmoooooooo> “Yeah, the cows like it.”

Amber: “Salty and warm. Not stuff I like in my mouth. Some girls said it tastes like protein.”

Ultimately, Carly won the challenge and celebrates with an adorably nerdy victory dance. Home girl chugged that goal milk AND she’s lactose intolerant.


Blue ribbon well deserved!


As part of her ‘prize,’ Carly and Fc get to participate in an impromptu ‘American Gothic’-themed photo shoot. Of couse, Jimmy has to participate as well…


That night, the hoes from the ‘Hoe Down’ head over to another rooftop overlooking Hollywood. Carly steals him for some 1:1 time right away – feeling empowered with her challenge win. She tells Chris, “You are a man and I am a woman and I just want to take advantage of that.” She then pulls him in for a kiss. I applaud her boldness and FC seemed impressed.

Amber asks FC to dance on her 1:1, and they, too, kiss almost immediately.

We then see him making out HARD with someone… Jillian I think?

Annnnnd, always one to let her age do the thinking, Mackenzie asks Chris, “Why are you kissing everyone else?” I think in her naive 21 year old mind he had only kissed her and they had something special and there was no other connection with any of the other girls. I almost want to say, “Bless her heart,” but then I remember how annoying she is and I’m glad she’s getting a smack of reality upside the head. She thinks she might have blown her chance with him… I hope so, but my instinct says she still has some life in this game.

FC rounds out the night with a 1:1 with Becca. They have a great convo and an almost kiss, but she holds out. She lets him subtlety know that he needs to earn the kiss and she wants it to mean something. Even better, she gets the date rose and she didn’t need to be a ‘hoe down’ to get it.

DATE CARD #3 (read by Kaitlyn): Whitney

FC takes Whitney (and her voice) to Saddle Rock Vineyard for a lovely afternoon of wine tasting and light conversation. I’d like the record to show that Whitney is sleeveless vest in light denim – not a fashion choice I’d make on a first date, but to each its own.

Chris tells Whitney that he likes people who can “roll the cob.” Before you start getting all kind of dirty thoughts, that simply means those who can go with the flow or shoot the shit.

I feel like “roll the cob” is like “fetch”… neither is ever going to catch on.


I think Whitney and FC seem nice together, but there is no sexual tension or chemistry.

They look over the railing of the outlook they are sitting on and see people setting up for a wedding. Whitney decides they should crash it. #YOLO I’m really not sure how spontaneous vs. staged this is – but I like the idea more than whatever other generic date the producers may have had planned.

Thus… Chris & Whitney go home, get changed, buy a gift and get ready to crash. They decide to pretend they are engaged and Whitney is an old acquaintance of the bride.


They start mingling and FC proves immediately that he is a terrible liar/improviser. Good thing Whitney can “roll the cob” with the best of them.

They seem to have a really fun night, and even end up on the dance floor with the bride and groom. Chris gives Whitney the rose at the end of the night and says in an interview that he could picture her as his wife.

It’s morning back in Bachelorland and we see FC showering in his outdoor shower… with Jimmy… soaping each other up. I’m officially over this plot line and am craving next week when Mr. Kimmel returns to his lair.


After getting squeaky clean, Jimmy goes to the mansion to tell the ladies that they are going to have a pool party instead of a cocktail party.

Most of the girls were excited. Ashley I. laments, “I was SO EXCITED to do my Kardashian look tonight and now I can’t.” I’m not sure how her ‘Kardashian look’ differs from the other 365 days of the year – but #sorrynotsorry

Jillian is floating around the pool with a censor bar over her booty – AGAIN.

Juelia pulls Chris aside to be a buzzkill and tell her about her very sad story.


Juelia tells FC about her husband’s history of mental illness and ultimately his suicide. It’s an awful, gut-wrenching story and my heart breaks for her. The pain still seems very raw and I don’t think that the best thing for Juelia and her daughter is to be on a reality TV dating show that we all know she’s not going to win. Go home, honey.

Of course, what better way to bounce back from a downer of a conversation that to kiss more ladies – amiright!?!

Chris spends a little 1:1 time with Britt. They make out. Obviously.

Jade then asks Chris for a tour of his place. He happily obliges, and before you know it they are in his bed… wait for it… making out. She is wearing strappy heels and the editors have layered in some serious baby-making music… Afternoon Delight, fo sho!

While this tour of Chris’s humble abode is taking place, Jillian and her censor bar decide to go wait in his hot tub. Which is hella awkward because she is hanging out solo for way longer than she intended…

But eventually FC and Jade come up for air. They find Jilian outside and Jade graciously leaves to give them some 1:1 time. Mackenzie and Ashley I. show up right away and try to climb in the hot tub to join the party. Jillian shuts them down – and these girls (with no backbone) shuffle away from the tub.

Mackenzie and Ashley I. (and now Megan, too) watch from the driveway(?) as Jillian and FC talk and eventually kiss.


The girls decide to attempt to join the hot tub once again. They are pissed that Jillian won’t leave. There is a lot of ‘that’s not fair’ temper tantrums simmering just under the surface… except for Ashley I. who totally boils over into a bit of a breakdown.

She is able to snag FC for some 1:1 time, though, and starts laugh/crying so hard FC doesn’t have any idea what to do with her. She comes across as super emotional and immature and insecure – not a good look, lady!


She secretly rubs her magic belly button ring for good luck, and manages to kiss Chris anyways. And by kiss I mean mouth rape. They almost fell off the roof. Perhaps I wanted that t happen a little too much…

And… it’s rose ceremony time!


  1. Kaitlyn – Date Rose
  2. Becca – Date Rose
  3. Whitney – Date Rose
  4. Jade
  5. Samantha (has she even spoken to Chris?)
  6. Juelia
  7. Mackenzie
  8. Kelsey
  9. Britt
  10. Megan
  11. Carly
  12. Ashley S. (congrats for staying off the radar)
  13. Nikki
  14. Jillian
  15. Ashley I.

Who got sent home? : Amber, Trina, Tracy

Next week looks INTENSE and I’m so ready for it… and I’m so ready for no more Jimmy Kimmel.

I want to try BuzzFeed’s Get Fit Challenge

This is a four-week exercise plan that doesn’t require a gym membership. And no workout is longer than 30 minutes.

SOURCE: BUZZFEED (All images and copy Link to Buzzfeed’s site)


This 28-day challenge will get you into the habit of working out for 30 minutes a day, five times per week.


There are two kinds of workouts: strength-training workouts and running workouts. The strength-training workouts are all bodyweight workouts, meaning they are a series of moves that use only your body’s weight as resistance, like pushups and lunges — no equipment. Running is…running. Bodyweight workout days are in red. Running workout days are in orange. And rest days are in yellow.

9 things you should know before you start the challenge:

1. The plan is designed so that anyone can do it, no matter their fitness level or workout experience. Just be sure to read this whole list for some safety tips, and make modifications to the workouts if you need to.

2. Each week you’ll have a combination of running workout days, strength-training workout days, and rest days. The exercise days will help you improve your cardiovascular fitness, endurance, and strength. The program will get more challenging as you progress and get fitter.

3. You can find a complete list of all the running workouts below. Click here for more detailed instructions on how to do the running workouts.

4. You can find a complete list of all the bodyweight workouts below, also. Click here for step-by-step instructions of each individual exercise move.

5. Rest is built into the program intentionally. It’s crucial for recovery and progress. If you’re too tired to complete a workout with good form, take additional rest. Light activity (like a gentle yoga class, a long walk, an easy swim, a leisurely bike ride, etc.) is always encouraged on rest days, but only if you’re up for it.

6. You can jump into the challenge anytime. If you start after Jan. 4, just take any workouts you missed to the end of the month.

7. You can follow the program to the letter, but you can also move things around. You can swap one bodyweight workout for another, or move a rest day earlier or later in the week depending on how you’re feeling.

8. If you’re brand new to working out, scale back workouts as needed — seriously. Running coach Janet Hamilton (who created some of the running workouts) says that you shouldn’t do hard running workouts until you already have a base of fitness (meaning, you’re running for at least 30 minutes at a time, three to five days a week — without any injuries). If you’re not there yet, definitely modify these workouts to make them easier (we give instructions for how to do that). Listen to your body and don’t push yourself to the point that you get hurt. If you’re just getting started, your goal should be to just get moving for 30 minutes at a time. If that means you need to walk for half (or more) of it, that’s totally fine. As for the bodyweight workouts, ease into them slowly, monitoring your pace, effort, and quality of movement. Reduce reps if you need to, or modify the moves to make them less intense.

9. After the challenge is over, you’ll want to keep going and it’s super easy to do it. Try it again with some different bodyweight workouts, mix and match your own, or repeat this challenge with the goal of moving faster or better, or doing the harder versions of the workouts. As Sulaver says, “Go back through it and kick even MORE ass. It’s like beating Super Mario Bros. and starting over on a harder setting.”



Start the clock, and immediately do 10 pushups in perfect form. When you’re done with the pushups, go straight into jumping jacks until the clock reads 1:00. Then move on to the next move. Do each move 10 times perfectly starting at the top of the minute, and finish out the minute with jumping jacks until it’s time for the next move.

Yes, you are supposed to do that whole thing five times. See detailed instructions for how to do each exercise move correctly here.

Make it easier: If you can’t do all the movements (50 pushups in 20 minutes, anyone?), start out with reps that are more manageable for you, for instance — like four or five pushups per round, instead of 10. And do regular lunges without jumps, if the jumping lunges are too hard.



Think of this workout as broken into two parts: PART A is plank taps and jumping lunges, and PART B is spider lunges and reverse lunges.

For PART A, you do 10 plank taps, 10 jumping lunges… and then repeat that eight times. Then you rest two minutes, and move on to PART B: 10 spider lunges, 10 reverse lunges, and repeat that eight times. You can see detailed instructions for how to do each exercise correctly here.

Make it easier: Do regular lunges instead of jumping lunges (so no jumping). And reduce the number of reps per move if you need to (four or five per round, instead of 10).



Start the clock, and do as many pushups as you can — while maintaining perfect form — for 30 seconds. Then rest for 10 seconds, and do as many plank taps as you can (again, with perfect form) for 30 seconds, and then rest for 10 seconds again. Finish up with 30 seconds of walkouts. Rest for a minute or two, and then start all over again.

You should do the whole circuit 10 times. See detailed instructions for how to do each exercise correctly here.

Make it easier: Add time to the rest periods (20 seconds instead of 10).



For each move, do as many as you can as possible — while maintaining perfect form — for 30 seconds. Then you rest for 10 seconds, and move on to the next move. Once you’ve completed 30 seconds of each move, rest for a minute or two, and start over all over again. You should do the whole circuit 10 times.

Quick note about the single-leg deadlifts: Do 10 reps in a row on the same standing leg (so don’t alternate back and forth during your 10 reps). When you start the circuit over again, make sure to switch to the other leg for your next round of 10 single-leg deadlift reps. Every time you do the circuit over again, switch your standing leg (so one leg doesn’t get worked more than the other). See detailed instructions for how to do each exercise correctly here.

Make it easier: Add time to the rest periods (20 seconds instead of 10).

If you get bored with those four bodyweight workouts and want to change it up, there are five other bodyweight workouts you can swap in here.



Make it harder: Add additional intervals. As many as you want. Start with an extra three sprint-rest intervals and see how that feels… add or subtract intervals based on what your body is telling you.

Make it easier: Simplify the whole thing — that means throughout the whole workout, alternate between two minutes hard (6 RPE) and one minute easy (2–3 RPE).



Make it harder: Right now this workout has you doing 4 × 2.5-minute sprints, with 2.5 minutes of rest between them. Speed up your sprints (and rest periods), and do 8 × 1-minute sprints with only 30 seconds rest between them.

Make it easier: Do only 4 × 1-minute sprints (instead of 4 × 2.5-minute sprints), with 2 minutes rest in between. This will shorten the total duration of the workout, and also shorten how long you’re sprinting.



Make it harder: Increase your RPE or the length of the tempo portion of the run.

Make it easier: Shorten the tempo and dial down your effort so you feel comfortable. You can also walk if you need to — listen to your body.

POPSUGAR Must Have Box – January 2015


What is the POPSUGAR Must Have Box, you ask? Well it’s a monthly subscription priced at $39.95. Inside you get hand-selected items in beauty, fashion, home, fitness and food. Unlike a lot of other subscription boxes that don’t live up to the hype and quality – in this box you’re getting full-size products and premium/unique items collectively worth well over $100. This January 2015 Box values at almost $150… for less than forty bucks!

A couple days ago I received my January Box – my sixth box on my renewed subscription. It exceeded my expectations and was such a fun surprise – as usual!

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JACK + LUCY Pom Pom Hat: Stay warm and cozy during winter with this slouchy heather-grey hat! The faux-fur pom pom offers an unexpected element to your average beanie. // Sugg. Retail: $22


First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream: Banish dry skin for good with this cream that delivers moisture from head to toe. Allergy tested and free of fragrance, harsh chemicals and parabens, it’s safe for even the most sensitive skin. // Sugg. Retail: $28


KeepCup Brew 12-Ounce Reusable Coffee Cup: This colorful coffee cup is the perfect replacement for disposable cups. Keep Cup’s smart and consumer-friendly designs will keep your beverages warm time and time again! // Sugg. Retail: $26

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Manduka eQua Hand Towel: Retire your old gym towel for this super absorbent multipurpose towel instead. The lightweight yet durable microfibers are perfect on the yoga mat and beyond! // Sugg. Retail: $16


ToGoSpa EYES: Pamper yourself with these refreshing gel eye pads for a mini spa treatment on the go. It’s the conveniently cool solution for unwanted dark circles and puffiness. // Sugg. Retail: $12.50


Skin Jewel Tattoos EMPIRE: Add even more shine to the New Year with these Skin Jewel Tattoos, sponsored by the new FOX drama, EMPIRE. The decorative mix of gold and silver can go anywhere on your body. // Sugg. Retail: $18


General Mills Nature Valley Protein Granola: Eating healthy and feeling satisfied just got easier wit this Peanut Butter n’ Dark Chocolate Protein Granola. it’s a delicious way to fuel your day and stay on track. // Sugg. Retail: $4


So what are you waiting for? JOIN TODAY!

popsugarPrevious POPSUGAR Must Have Box Reviews:

The Bachelor Chris Episode Two Recap – Show Me Your Country

Hey folks… Annnnd, we’re back.

I’m excited about the season – especially now that we are starting to thin out the herd and there is more screen time for the crazies!

This episode picks up where last week left off. Namely, Yoga Instructor Kimberly saunters back into the mansion after not receiving a rose on the first night and asks to speak with Chris. She pleads that since they didn’t get a chance to speak with each other she deserves to stay. Also, she feels she is “supposed to be here.” This conversation is edited to simultaneously show the other girls throwing MAJOR shade Kimberly’s way. Chris even talks to Chris Harrison because he’s concerned at what message his decision will send to the other girls…

Ultimately, though, Kimberly gets to stay. So, yay for her. Here’s hoping she doesn’t get jumped in the mansion before the next rose ceremony.

We then see FC (Farmer Chris) and HC (Host Chris) sitting on a patio at FC’s “house” recapping last night. FC is wearing a shirt more pink than anything I own – and you KNOW he’ll hear about it when he gets back to Iowa. The conversation is uneventful. FC reaffirms (FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME) how lucky he is to be with all these beautiful ladies.

All of a sudden, we see FC in an interview and he is wearing a blue zippered hoodie (halfway unzipped) with no shirt underneath and a smattering of chest hair regrowth… Um, what!?! Certainly this is a weird one off instance and everything else having to do with this outfit is on the cutting room floor… right?


HC arrives at the mansion to talk to the girls and tell them the game plan for the week. He also (not so) subtly lets them know that FC’s “house” is at the end of the driveway and that they should go see him to borrow eggs or a cup of sugar. I’m sure some of these girls who be more than happy to drop their eggs off with FC. Ugh, that was gross even to type.

HC hands the ladies DATE CARD #1 (read by Jillian): Jade, Tandra, Ashley I., Mackenzie, Kimberly & Tara

“Show me your country.”

No surprise – the other girls are SUPER jealous that late addition Kimberly is on this first date. But, haters gonna hate.

The girls arrive to a rooftop pool/bar area in the heart of LA. Shockingly, FC is wearing the outfit I’d previously mocked. My notes say: “Dude! Are you serious with the hoodie?!”

A pool party and a game of chicken ensues – obvi. That’s what these fools do when they see a pool.

Chris pulls Kimberly aside for a 1:1. They re-introduce themselves to each other and she gives him a succulent. No explanation or context, just a small desert plant. Uh, thanks?

While the pool party date is occurring, we cut back to the mansion and see that Megan and Jillian have decided to sneak into FC’s house. (Totally Chris Harrison’s fault, and a producers dream!) Megan notices that Chris has a helmet resting on his motorcycle and decides to try it on. Normal enough, right? But theeeeen, home girl decides to ram her head (in the helmet) into a brick wall and the refrigerator among other things… just to test the helmet for Chris’s safety. She’s obviously not playing with a full deck.

Sidenote – Jillian’s bikini bottom was so small that there was a permanent black sensor bar in the back AND the front. My darling YJ said, that suit is SCANDALOUS!

OK, back to the pool party date. The pool portion of events over and Chris escorts 6 bikini-clad woman down the street … like for many blocks … to the next part of the date. I don’t care how hot their bodies are – that looked like a humiliating walk of shame and I would have wanted no part of it!


These girls climb aboard giant red tractors and have the most anti-climactic tractor race ever. We learn that Tara is stoked, Tandra is super competitive and FC is the “luckiest dude with two thumbs.” Ashley I. wins and I begin to cringe immediately.

Back at the house, Juelia is talking to some of the ladies. (She is prettier than her ABC head shot gives her credit for.) She reveals that she has a daughter, named Ireland, and a widow. Her baby daddy (boyfriend?) committed suicide – which is heartbreaking. She needs more time before she tells FC.

Back to the date, FC and Ashley I. are canoodling on a tractor in the middle of the street. (That’s literally a sentence I never thought I’d write.) Their conversation is useless. My only notes were, “Big teeth. Bigger lashes. She looks like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.” Little did I know that her cocktail party/rose ceremony 2-piece dress would only reinforce this image.

FC and Ashley I. rejoin the rest of the girls – awkward silence ensues. Chris then says that he’d like to “finish the night with one girl.” And he freaking picks Mackenzie. The 21 year old with a son named Kale. The girls did not understand his pick, and tried to rationalize ‘why’ to make themselves feel better on their second walk of shame of the day – from the hay bales to the waiting limo.

After the commercial break – we are treated to FC and Mackenzie’s dinner date. Chris VOs that Mackenzie seems bubbly and up for anything. She proceeds to be the kind of nervous giggly girl that only a 21 year old can be. She asks him about his pierced ears. She says she has a thing for big noses – like his. She asks if he believes in aliens. FC (and the entire viewing audience) admit that this line of conversation is raising more than a few red flags. Mackenzie then seizes the moment to get up her courage and tells Chris about Baby Kale. He handles it like a gentleman and totally puts her at ease – which is a classy move regardless of all the previous weirdness. Somehow (shockingly) FC offers Mackenzie a rose which she gladly accepts! They dance and kiss and I’m like.. Did I miss something?


The ladies back at the mansion now have DATE CARD #2 (read by Ashley I): It’s a 1:1 for… Megan

“To love is a natural wonder.”

To show her continued heightened intelligence, and the fact that she was apparently blacked out during the previous date card reading, Megan thought it was just a love note.

Mackenzie takes the opportunity to tell the other girls about her date while they are all gathered together – and chronicles their five kisses. If those women could have shot laser beams out of their eyeballs she’d be dead on the spot.

FC stops by the mansion to say hi to the ladies and to pick up Megan. In the limo he tells her that she made a really good first impression. She says out loud (to herself?), “I can’t forget to breathe. Sometimes I just forget.”

The take a private plane from L.A. to Las Vegas, where they are then escorted to a waiting helicopter that takes them on a scenic tour of Lake Mead, the Hoover Dam and ultimately the Grand Canyon. It’s freaking gorgeous! The helicopter lands inside the Grand Canton so FC and Megan can hop out for a little picnic.

Megan lets Chris know that she signed up for the Bachelor last minute on the suggestion of her boss. After she signed up, her dad had a massive heart attack and passed away, but her mom told her to follow her heart and take this leap of faith. Megan says she’s definitely here ‘for the right reasons.’

They kiss and he gives her his second rose of the episode.

Megan says in an interview after the date that she is already head over heels. These fools fall FAST!

The next morning, we get to hear who’s a part of DATE CARD #3 (read by Tandra): Kelsey, Trina, Alissa, Tracy, Jillian, Becca, Amber, Ashley S., Julia, Kaitlyn and Britt

“Til death do us part.”

The ladies pile into a limo that night and pull up to a dark, abandoned lot. It’s a little scary and they are already a bit freaked out. THEN – mothereffin’ zombies start attacking the car and the girls truly lose their damn mind. FC climbs into the limo and he is lucky he didn’t get stabbed with a stiletto on the spot!

FC says: “We gotta kill some zombies.”

YJ says: “I want to be on this date.” He also told me if he ever took me to something like this and I refused to participate, it’d be a deal breaker. I’m glad in his heart – zombies rank just above me…

Kaitlyn says: “Killing zombies is my jam. This is the date for me.” I keep liking this chick more and more, especially after she has reigned in her inappropriateness to a more tolerable level.

The girls don protective glasses and grab some paintball gun and set out to kill some zombies. Everyone is into it except for Ashley S. who really doesn’t understand the rules. The ladies are legit terrified of her – and wonder who in their right mind would put a gun in her hand. And in their defense, her crazy comes out in full force…

We cut back to the mansion where Megan and Mackenzie are hanging out in the bathroom with some face masques on. A “drunk as hell” Jordan comes in and the girls encourage her to show off her twerking skills. Without hesitating, she slides an ottoman out of the way, spits on her hands (for grip?) and climbs into an awkward handstand against the bathroom wall to twerk upside down. Let’s just take a moment of grateful silence that home girl didn’t fall and break her neck. It really could have gone either way…

In an interview (that same night?), Jordan is doing drunk impressions of her fellow contestants. She makes fun of cross-fit Jillian including letting the world know that she has a hairy ass. She goes so far as to clarify, “Not peach fuzz. Her ass is hairier than most of my ex-boyfriends.” That’ll be a fun moment to revisit on “The Women Tell All”…

Back on the zombie date, the girls are hanging out by the firepit. Ashley S. keeps babbling complete nonsense and Britt is REALLY trying to understand what the heck kind of point she’s trying to make. The ladies speculate on who will get the date rose. Ashley S. guesses that maybe it’ll be given to an angel. Makes perfect sense…

Kaitlyn and FC have a 1:1, which goes well. He calls her a firecracker and wonders why in the world she is here for him? They kiss.

Ashley S. and FC have a 1:1 – kind of. Her and her crazy eyes ask to play hide and seek and wonder if they are in a dome. Chris literally has NO IDEA what to do with her. You can almost see him pleading with his eyes for production to step in and sweep her back to her padded cell.

After her time with Chris, the brilliant editors show Ashley S. literally crawling on the ground trying to talk to stray cats…

We now get to Britt’s 1:1 with Chris. They are still super cute together and I really like her. She said she isn’t worried or stressed because she knows everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Chris gives her a gift – a “free kiss” card to complement her “free hug” card from night one. They proceed to sloppily make out.

But does Britt get the date rose? NOPE! It goes to Kaitlyn and Britt is 50 shades of bummed out about it.

Finally we get to the cocktail party.

FC has his first 1:1 with Whitney. If you’ve forgotten her, she’s the sweet fertility nurse with a voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. She set up a sweet little mini date by the outdoor fireplace and got him a bottle of his favorite whiskey from Iowa. Very sweet – and huge bonus points in Chris’s eyes, I’d assume.

Next we see Ashley I. telling a couple of the girls that she has never had a boyfriend before and that… she’s a virgin! Which I’m not buying for a hot second! Mackenzie is incredibly jealous that she can’t use that line because she has a kid. What is wrong with these people?


Ashley I. then snags FC for some 1:1 time. She tells him that her belly button ring is like a magic lamp and if he rubs it he can get three wishes. 1.) I feel dirty even recapping this. 2.) Yep, totally an innocent virgin. 3.) This reinforces my Aladdin observation from the tractor date.

His first wish is for a kiss, and then they make out. She practically molests him. They are lying on the couch at one point. Holy inappropriate, especially when the other girls can see this go down.

We see Britt having a mini breakdown lamenting the fact that they all have the same boyfriend and it’s so weird. Which it is. And it sucks. But you knew what you were getting into when you signed up for the show, lady!

Chris hangs out with Amber (who?) for two seconds before she asks for a kiss and he kisses her as well.

I hope Chris remembers that this is all being filmed and his actions are getting a little out of control. YJ disagrees – he says, “let a playa play!”

Lastly, we see drunk Jordan interrupt Juelia’s time with FC for some meaningful conversation of her own. But she is hammered yet again and proceeds to have an awkward, embarrassing few moments together. She might need some professional help getting this drinking thing in check.

And… it’s rose ceremony time!


  1. Mackenzie – Date Rose
  2. Megan – Date Rose
  3. Kaitlyn – Date Rose
  4. Britt
  5. Ashley !.
  6. Trina
  7. Kelsey
  8. Samantha
  9. Juelia
  10. Amber
  11. Tracy
  12. Jillian
  13. Jade
  14. Nikki
  15. Becca
  16. Carly
  17. Whitney
  18. Ashley S. (obviously a Producer Pick)


Who got sent home? : Tara, Alissa, Jordan, Kimberly and Tandra

Tara had the honor of being the “ugly crier in the driveway” tonight. She said she’s always getting rejected and my heart broke for her just a little.

And with that, we wrap up the first full week of dates. Jimmy Kimmel is visiting FC in next week’s episode so I’m excited to see what shenanigans he brings to the table…

January 2015 Stitch Fix Review – Stitch Fix #13


Last week, I got my thirteenth Stitch Fix in the mail! I love fall/winter clothes, so I’ve been dying to get this latest Stitch Fix in my hands! I hoped I’d have my same stylist again (Michelle). I also spent a lot of time updating my Pinterest Style Board called “For My Stitch Fix Stylist” in the hopes it would make my future fixes even more successful.

Here was the note I sent to my stylist after my last fix to guide Fix #13:

Stylist: Michelle again. Oversized/off-the shoulder sweaters, v-neck sweaters, a blazer, leggings in rich colors or fun patterns (olive, burgundy, chocolate, camo), structured cardigans/jackets. Tribal prints, faux leather, animal print, mix of neutrals and neon. It’ll be a cold winter, so I want stuff to bundle up but still look cute and stylish! No accessories, please. Check out my Pinterest :)

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A few days ago I peeked in my account to try and figure out what was coming, but it only lists the names of the items and doesn’t include pictures. So…I had an idea of what was headed my way, but didn’t have any clue as to the colors or patterns of things.

  1. 41Hawthorn: Teegan Draped Blazer ($78)
  2. RD Style: Braddon Airy Knit V-Neck Sweater ($68)
  3. Papermoon: Zelda Dolman Knit Top ($48)
  4. 41Hawthorn: Una Sleeveless Elastic Waist Halter Dress ($68)
  5. RD Style: Shermineh Faux Leather Detail Ponte Pant ($64)

My note from my stylist (Michelle):


Stitch Fix comes with an information card which includes a listing of everything in the box, prices, and then a total of how much everything would be if you kept everything in the box (it deducts your $20 styling fee and the 25% discount for keeping all of your items):


Here is what I received:

41Hawthorn: Teegan Draped Blazer ($78): This blazer was a big ol’ N-O! It didn’t even remotely fit and it had no shape. I love a draped blazer – but this one was too short and boxy to flatter anyone but the tinniest girl. It holds wrinkles, too, which would make it inappropriate for a work staple. I liked the blue color, though. VERDICT: Returned!

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RD Style: Braddon Airy Knit V-Neck Sweater ($68): I really like this sweater. It’s a loose knit and black – so while it’s a pretty conservative choice I know I’ll be easily able to incorporate it into my wardrobe. VERDICT: Kept!

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Papermoon: Zelda Dolman Knit Top ($48): I liked this sweater out of the box. However, once I tried it on, it’s not flattering. It’s too short, and the (lack of) length coupled with the batwing style just added a lot of unnecessary width. I have so much grey/black in my closet that for me to have kept this it would have had to be special. VERDICT: Returned!

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41Hawthorn: Una Sleeveless Elastic Waist Halter Dress ($68): I think this dress is really sweet. It was weird to me that such a summery dress was in a January fix – but I liked the color and I think it’s flirty and fun. It’s a bit snug on the chest, but I think in a couple months it’ll fit just perfectly. VERDICT: Kept!

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RD Style: Shermineh Faux Leather Detail Ponte Pant ($64): I thought these leggings were MADE for me – but when I put them on they were pretty short-waisted and dipped too low in the back whwn I tried to sit down. BUT – I did love the burgundy color and the faux leather detail. So, one of those items that is great in theory and just doesn’t work in execution. VERDICT: Returned!

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I really like the styling cards included in my Stitch Fix box. They help provide inspiration on how you might pair this new find with something already in your closet.

For my thirteenth box – I am back to having mixed feelings. I got Michelle as my stylist for the second month in a row – and she didn’t do as well as she did back in December. I love the concept and as long as I keep even one piece so I don’t lose my styling fee, I’m a happy Stitch Fix girl! Excited to see what’s in my next box, set to arrive in early February.


— — —

If you don’t know the greatness that is Stitch Fix, let me break it down for you… Basically, Stitch Fix is a personal shopping/styling service for women. You sign up (HERE) and fill out an in-depth style profile about all your fashion likes and dislikes, sizes and even budget preferences. Are you more preppy or more rock n’ roll? Do you wear T-shirts and jeans – or are you never caught without a dress? You can even link to a Pinterest board to really show your stylist what your personal style is all about…


Once you’re all signed up, you’ll receive a box once a month with outfits and accessories HAND-PICKED for you by your personal Stitch Fix stylist. There is a $20 styling fee each month. IF you choose to keep even one item, that $20 is applied to your purchase price. Even better, if you decide to keep all 5 items – you get an additional 25% off your total order. Essentially – you keep what you love and you send back anything that doesn’t work. You only pay for the items to decide to hang on to, and you are charged when you ‘check out’ each month on your Stitch Fix page. You have a few days to try everything on and the box comes with a bag and a prepaid return label so you can easily ship back the pieces you aren’t interested in.

Wantable Accessories Subscription Box – January 2015

Wantable is a hyper-personalized monthly subscription box. They have three options: Makeup, Accessories and Intimates. Each box is $36/mo. and you take a in-depth profile quiz to let Wantable know your loves, likes and dislikes. Essentially, this helps from getting samples/products/etc. that you’d never be interested in.

Yesterday, I received my January Accessories Box. I also have reviews for the January Intimates Box in a recent blog post – check ‘em all out. I am really happy with the items I got in my Wantable Accessories Box! They were all super unique and fun additions to my growing collection!


There were 4 items in my Wantable January Accessories Box. From Wantable: With a brand new year upon us, now is the perfect time to shine! Our January Accessories Collection has the perfect pieces to up your style factor for a fashionable step into 2015! When the weather is dreary, it’s easy to fall into a style slump, but our dazzling accessories are the perfect cure for all of your winter woes. Even a basic tee or oversized sweater can become a major fashion moment when paired with a shimmering statement necklace or bejeweled earrings. If that’s not enough to break the winter chill, stylish knit hats from the San Diego Hat Company are sure to do the trick! Make sure to select Hair Accessories in the quiz if you’re interested a cozy chapeau.

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  1. Glinda Earrings (Silver)
  2. Ally Sunglasses
  3. Suki Earrings (Gold)
  4. Suki Necklace (Gold)

From Wantable: The Glinda earrings feature bold rhinestones and mint stones. (RV: $21)


From Wantable: The Ally sunglasses are the perfect rock accessory, complete with plastic frames and premium UV lenses. (RV: $14)

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From Wantable: The Suki earrings are fun gold tone drop earrings with natural organic shaped stones. (RV: $14)


From Wantable: The Suki necklace features a gold adjustable chain with a row of natural organic shaped stones. (RV: $26)

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THE VERDICT: I am OBSESSED with this Wantable box! I have plans to wear the Suki necklace and earrings combo tomorrow. The Glinda earrings might be the perfect accessory for my bridal shower this weekend!. The retail value of this box was $75… And yet I got these four pieces for only $36! Can’t wait to see what next month brings!!!

Previous ‘Accessories’ Reviews: